How Ponzi and I Got (Will Get) Our Groove Back
Posted by Monica Edwards Categories: Humor, Personal
I am excitedly counting down the days till Ponzi and I get to don our grass skirts and leis; sans the coconut boob cups lest we have an unfortunate accident of some kind. We are taking a girls’ mini-vacation together to Hawaii, er, rather Honolulu in mid- August. Ponzi has been crazy busy planning and preparing for Gnomedex to be held the second weekend of August, so after months of hard work, when it is all said and done, she deserves to take off for a few days and veg on the beach allowing the cabana boy to wait on her hand and foot…oh, my bad, that was How Stella Got Her Groove Back.
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If Your Dog Goes Missing; Check the Fridge
Posted by Monica Edwards Categories: Alijah, Family, Humor, Personal
Alijah has developed a strange hyper-sensitivity to heat, any temperature above Arctic cold, he immediately goes into hyper-drive, fanatically announcing to anyone within earshot…“AH, WHAHM!!! AHHH…WHAHM!!” or “AHHHH…H!! MAMA, DADDA,MMMAAAMMAA, AAH HODT!!!” So when you see us immediately transferring his piping hot or soothingly warm meal fresh from the oven or microwave, directly into the freezer to thaw for 5 to 10 minutes we are not trying to cause his untimely death by way of food poisoning, but rather making sure that he will get something in his belly besides string cheese and yogurt.
I don’t know when this obsession with heat came about, maybe it stems from my neuroses when first feeding him baby food warmed in the microwave; I always made sure that he knew it was HOT so we had to wait. Also maybe it has to do with the times I hysterically yelled, “NO, DON’T TOUCH, HOT, HOT!!” whenever he stepped a toe into the kitchen as I was cooking. You think I could be the cause of all this drama? And it is very dramatic because it does not just affect how he eats his food, but also the temperature of his bath—now lukewarm is tooo hot, washing his hands—the water has to be cold or else it is “hodt’. He cannot sleep with covers on, they end up on the floor while his tiny body is blue and cold to the touch because he has been sleeping in his diaper and t-shirt all night.
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