The funniest thing I heard today came from an actor in the movie How to Eat Fried Worms. I was watching this with my two kids while Andru is at Gnomedex literally all day and night. I will be joining him, kids in tow, at the party they are throwing tonight at the Seattle Aquarium where they have giant octopi that suck your brain out quietly while you are none the wiser, or so Nate says. But till then, I had to try and get the two boys to sit still and not argue for at least an hour. It seems that I enjoyed the movie much more than they did…okay now who couldn’t with a line like this? Uttered from a preschoolers lips to his older brother—“You’re shaking my bike and it’s touching my diddly dink!”
I have never heard that expression before, I think I will start using it in random conversations as it will go down as one of my favorites. No, I’m not 12.
I was reminiscing the other day about Alijah and the cute things he used to do as a baby, then realized that everyday he says something that cracks me up and that I should be writing these things down to look back on with fondness because he is growing so quickly. I thought I would share some of his gems with you…
1. We have two new puppies, a girl and boy, and my 12 year-old is holding the girl and I am holding the boy and he says to me, “Mom, is Zelda a girl?” and I reply “yes, of course” and he says “how can you tell, cause she has one of these like Luigi (pointing to her pee pee as I will refer to it). I reply “yes, she does, but she does not have these” while pointing to Luigi’s scrotum. And he asks “what does he have?” And again, I hold up Luigi and say this time, “she (Zelda), doesn’t have balls…see, Luigi, he has balls>.” To which, Alijah, who I did not know was listening very intently, promptly replies very loudly, “I want balls mama!”
My favorite blogger whom I have admitted to being a groupie of, Heather Armstrong of Dooce, writes a newsletter every month for her ‘cute as can be’ three year old daughter Leta. She recounts each past month for her in a way that touches my heart and makes me envious that I do not have the discipline to put down in words the very memories that she is able to; words that will hold them together as a family forever. Everytime I read one of these newsletters I just want to say to her, wow, you have described the very feelings that I have for my 3 year old. I did not think such deep emotions could be put into words, but there they are.
I love my son, he cracks me up at the most unexpected times and the other day he had Andru almost rolling on the floor laughing so hard at his 12 year-old antics. He received a new Sansa Mp3 player for Christmas from his father, it wasn’t like the $10 Walkmans he was used to buying or receiving in the past, as he is getting older and becoming more responsible, his father spent a little more money on something a 12 year-old would appreciate. Tom took very good care of it, I have to give him credit, he put it away very nicely in the velvet sleeve it came in once he was through listening to it - so maybe it was worth the cost.
This is where the humor comes in, the other day, he comes upstairs, very upset, carrying his Mp3 in his hand and I ask what was so terribly wrong. He goes on to explain that he had his Mp3 in his sweatshirt pocket as he was going to the bathroom, and when he stood up to flush, it so gracefully plopped into the toilet, scaring him to death as he thought some wild animal had just jumped in. In Napoleon Dynamite fashion he utters loudly “Dang it!” as his very new Mp3 had fallen in a toilet full of poo. His words. I asked him what the heck was he doing with the Mp3 player in his pocket while sitting on the toilet, knowing that it was a recipe for disaster. He replies, ” I wanted to listen to music while I pooed.” OK I guess that was a logical answer…heck if everyone else reads while they poo, why not bop to some tunes? Before any more questions were asked I immediately said, “Get a plastic baggie, put it inside, and STOP HOLDING IT—GROOOSS!”
Checking my email tonight, I received a request from my son’s 6th Grade teacher for volunteers in assembling a gaggle of Fruity Pharaohs…hmm…what may I ask are Fruity Pharaohs? Maybe I should become more involved in my son’s school curriculum? Following is the email sent to me, for your enjoyment, if nothing for the humor in it, as it put an instant smile on my face.
I need help assembling some Fruity Pharaohs for the students to mummify. If you have time this Wednesday, please drop by the classroom and I will have the items and directions available. You may want a pair of working gloves and wire cutters (I will try and find some wire cutters to have on hand) Also, we are still needing shoe boxes for this activity, so if you have any extra boxes, please send them to school.
I know this is short notice, but I am hoping it won’t take long to put together 16 Fruity Pharaohs.
Thanks and I hope you each had a wonderful vacation.
If I did not have to take my youngest son to preschool on Wednesday, then I so would be at the assembling of not one, but 16 Fruity Pharaohs! Someone please define the term for me as all I picture are an assortment of Pharaohs swimming around in a bowl of fruit loops. What do you think?
Andru and Alijah left for New York Tuesday morning, and I feel like they have been gone an eternity already. This is the longest stretch of time that I will be away from Alijah since he was in the hospital for 11 weeks after he was born 2 1/2 years ago. I don’t know if I can take the withdrawal.
After the harrowing trip all alone with a two year old that has discovered the independence of his own two legs since the last time we flew, they finally made it to their destination after the most awful trip in recorded history. There were moments I imagined that their plane had gone down, or that they were sitting in the airport, disheveled and too tired to move. Andru emailed from the plane that the flight would be delayed for take-off for an hour because of inclement weather in N.Y. but that they could choose to get off the plane as long as they took all their belongings with them. Do these airline pilots not have kids? What are they thinking? After lugging an awkwardly huge carseat, a laptop bag, and a diaper bag, as well as trying to keep a hold of a 2 year old that just wants his freedom, the last thing a parent wants to do is try and maneuver all of that mess off the plane just to turn around 15 minutes later (because it took 45 minutes just to get off the plane) to get back on the dang thing again. My poor boys, they had only the snacks I had packed for Alijah- a granola bar, raisins, grapes, and a pudding cup to keep sustained.
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