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Wednesday July 4, 2007 10:32 am

Where Do I Begin?

Posted by Monica Edwards Categories: Personal

It has been a few months since I have had the passion to write. I say passion because I have figured something out about myself. I lack motivation, it’s true, but the unerring factor in my absence of recent posts is that I have not felt a passion to write. The definition of passion you ask? “strong and barley controllable emotion” or “an intense desire or enthusiasm for something”. Okay, so I HAVE felt a strong and barely controllable emotion in the last few months, more than once in fact, but I have not had the intense desire or enthusiasm to bring myself to share my experiences with anyone.

I don’t know why. I could take a guess and say that it has been a busy few months but that would just be a lame excuse. I suppose if I were entirely transparent, I would say that it is probably due to depression. It is extremely difficult to feel any sort of passion or motivation when I am in this state, and I feel like I do all the things that are necessary of me and the tasks that are not required of a mother and wife, I let fall by the wayside. I absolutely abhor being in this state and I know from being a part of a support group of women suffering from depression, that we as individuals, ultimately have control of how we want to, or choose to feel.


Don’t get me wrong, I believe there is clinical depression, and that sometimes it requires medication to help those symptoms, to just be able to function normally. But, thankfully I am not at that point. I am just feeling the pressure of all the things life brings and it takes a little more effort than normal to get things accomplished.

So today, I am going to make a commitment to myself to first seek God, because He can make ALL things possible. Then, with His strength and grace, be able to start writing again—something I do enjoy.

You will be catching up along with me, as I have wanted to write about many of the events that have ensued these past 6 to 8 months, but have not shared.

I will try to post once a day but will not make any promises. I am going to complete a post I started almost 3 weeks ago then probably go back and forth in time to whatever experience inspires me to write.

For all you devoted readers, I thank you for coming back time and again waiting patiently for the next post. I don’t know why my life is interesting to anyone; maybe because we share the same stories but with a different twist? Well, for whatever reason I am glad to have someone to share my stories with.


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